“Probably no one has given us a clearer picture of what death means to a mature Christian than grand old John Quincy Adams. When that remarkable American was turning four‑score years, he was hobbling down the street one day in his favorite city of Boston, leaning heavily on a cane. Suddenly a friend slapped him on the shoulder and said, "Well, how's John Quincy Adams this morning?"
The old man turned slowly, smiled, and said, "Fine, sir, fine! But this old tenement that John Quincy lives in is not so good. The underpinning is about to fall away. The thatch is all gone off the roof, and the windows are so dim John Quincy can hardly see out anymore. As a matter of fact, it wouldn't surprise me if before the winter's over he had to move out. But as for John Quincy Adams, he never was better... never was better!"
          With this he started hobbling on down the street, believing without a shadow of doubt that the real John Quincy Adams was not a body that you could ever enclose in a casket or inter in a grave”. (Floyd Faust)

          The funeral rite affirms, “In the face of death, the Church confidently proclaims that God has created each person for eternal life and that Jesus, the Son of God, by his death and resurrection, has broken the chains of sin and death that bound humanity.”

         Agreeing with John Quincy Adams can never remove the emotions that arise from death. The Order of Christian Funerals reminds us, “The time immediately following death is often one of bewinderment and may involve shock or heartrending grief for the family and friends.” (52) The funeral rites involve two stories and bring them together. There is the story of the deceased and, from a christian perspective, the larger story of God's loving intent and plan of salvation. These rites celebrate the promise of resurrection while seeking the consolation of God and the support of people.

HOLY PROCESSION
         The Order of Christian Funerals is more than a collection of separate church services. The Catholic Funeral Rite is better explained as one holy procession from the place of death to the cemetery, with some stations along the way. If possible, there should be prayer for the person at the time of death, as well as for the family and friends. The ritual reminds us: "In this moment of sorrow the Lord is in our midst and comforts us with his word, ‘Blessed are the sorrowful; they shall be consoled,’ and again, Grant her light, happiness and peace. Let him pass in safety throught the gates of death, and live forever with all your saints."

          Those who mourn the deceased loved one keep vigil and pray. Their lives become changed; stories are told, vivid memories emerge, emotions swell and recede. Time transforms itself into sacred time, time of vigil. Days are filled with much activity and preparation. Much time is usually spent at home with gatherings of family and friends. It is most appropriate for the community to pray together during these days. Meaningful meals brings community and evokes more good memories. During these meals, we may be reminded of the eternal banquet. The prophet Isaiah announced : “On this mountain, the Lord of hosts will prepare a lavish banquet for all peoples - a banquet of aged wine, choice pieces with marrow, and refined, aged wine.”

GATHERING AND PRAYING IN THE PRESENCE OF THE BODY          The Vigil continues in a more formal setting as the next station, usually in a funeral home, parlor or church. Current customs have to downplay or even avoid this part of the funeral, but it important spiritually and emotionally. It allows the community to gather around the body, offering our farewells and supporting one another. Being faced with the reality of the death of a loved one is more beneficial that we may surmise. During this time, we pray for the deceased at least once during the the “wake.” A priest, deacon, pastoral minister or lay person may lead this service.

FUNERAL MASS          When the wake does not occur at another place, the community and family brings the deceased to the church. Our christian life began at the baptismal font. The christian community welcomed and clothed with the garment of love and promise. When we die we return to the church, the house of the christian community one last time. Again, we are sprinkled with baptismal waters and wrapped with a cloth of promise. This reminds us of our baptismal garment and God’s promise of eternal life. We then approach the altar. This last eucharist not only recalls this sacrament as our nourishment during life. But it also points to the promise of the eternal banquet envisioned by Isaiah and promised by Jesus.

         Some families consider foregoing the mass at church for some reasons. They themselves have moved in a different direction. Their faith or the faith of the deceased may have waned. They may fear attendance will be low. These reasons should never be obstacles. The funeral eucharist is the deceased's right and a privilege. It is offered by our God who welcomes, forgives and promises life. This meal points to one’s journey to the eternal Table of the Lord. There, there will be no more mourning or weeping, hunger or thirst. This same meal nourishes those who remain and grieve.

PLACE OF REST

          The last leg of the funeral journey is the place of rest. This final station may be a cemetery plot, a mausoleum, crypt or columbarium. It is the final act of reverence for our loved one’s body. The rite reminds us, "This is the body once washed in baptism, anointed with the oil of salvation, and fed with the bread of life. This is the body whose hands clothed the poor and embraced the sorrowing. Indeed, the human body is so inextricably associated with the human person that it is hard to think of a human person apart from his or her body. Thus, the Church's reverence and care for the body grows out of a reverence and concern for the person whom the Church now commends to the care of God." (412)

         Cremains should be buried in a grave, entombed in a mausoleum or columbarium or buried at sea. Scattering cremated remains over water or from the air or keeping them at home are not reverent forms of disposition. Commingling remains or dividing them up are not in keeping with Church practice of disposition. (OCF 416)

         This last ritual of committal to a place of rest is an act of physical separation from our loved. But it is not a complete separation. We will always be united emotionally and spiritually as members of the Body of Christ, until we are united again in all eternity.

[See various prayers at the time of death and during the period of vigil below.]